Mr Kowalski’s bad day 2018.
Bitch, bitch, bitch! I told her but she wouldn’t listen, I mean how many fucking times does a man have to repeat himself. I warned her – I mean how many times? How many fucking times did I tell her? No more spending, no more credit cards, no more buying expensive meals for her buddies. Did she listen? Did she? Well she listened this morning didn’t she? She listened to this. She listened to 9mm parabellum and she won’t have to listen again. She won’t have to get up late and she won’t need the bottle of vodka under the fucking sink!
Right petrol on the carpet, run a trail to the door. Zippo open don’t burn the hands. Shit it won’t burn. Where’s my keys? Come on I haven’t got all day. Ah, there we go that should make the toast - ha hah!
Drive slowly, don’t answer the phone, they will expect you to come home - just get to work. I haven’t finished yet, in fact I have hardly freakin started. I mean - I’m finished, she’s toast and I’m finished so what the hell I might as well take a few more bastards with me.
I have put up with so much shit for so many years. Mr Kowalski I need more time off – Mr Kowalski my cat is sick and I can’t come in today – Mr Kowalski I haven’t finished the reports. Mr fucking Kowalski my fucking pet goldfish died and I am depressed! You’re depressed – you’re depressed? You don’t know the meaning of the word – well you are going to be depressed today because I’m gonna roast your asses
Slow down, park carefully remember the briefcase in the back, look normal walk slowly lock the car. ‘Hi John, how’s things with you. Good, good. Does she? What time did she call down? Important huh? Is that what she said ‘an emergency’? Better get up there then. Yes, I’ve got my gun right here. Oh sure don’t want to set the scanner off do I. I can never get used to these damned security devices. Yes 9mm twelve round magazine. No - not since I qualified three months ago. I don’t like the noise and ranges are so well, you know gung ho.’ I know how you feel John but it’s the law now - key word John ‘Protection!’
Walk slowly who’s that Collins yes he’s gonna get it first. I bet he says ‘Good morning in that irritating redneck accent.’ Yes, I knew it - ignore him get to the office. PHD my ass!
‘Hi Sally. Who? The police what? At my house - oh! Can you tell the senior staff that I need as many of them as possible here in the Principle’s office in the next ten minutes. No excuses. I will call the police from my office. Oh - I don’t know. Tell them to leave all their classes with the teaching assistants. This won’t take long.
©Robin Horsfall 2018