Hello former soldiers, this is your local Member of Parliament calling.

There is a rumour going around that you are very unhappy about the way you are being treated by the government. It is completely false to suggest that we don't care about you it is just that we care about the opinions of terrorists more.

Because we believe that most of you are poorly educated and rather limited in your capacity to see the big picture we are going to send you a nice new card with a pretty picture on. We will put your name on it to make you feel ever so special this Christmas.

In the meantime we would like you to forget about politics let us do the thinking, you do the fighting and the shooting. I know, I know but we the political elite know what is really important. We went to 'good schools', we had 'good parents' and came from 'good families'. You on the other hand have had to go to work and earn a living as soldiers.

We really appreciate all the risks you took and all the sacrifices you made. So cheer up we hope you like the nice new cards and please, please, just trust us we know what is best. Happy Christmas.

Yours sincerely Rt Hon Rich Drip. VOTE FOR RICH.

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